Bad Breath

Don’t get me wrong, I understand that everyone has bad breath at some point in their day.

I make it my personal goal to ensure that no one has to deal with this problem from me. I know what it feels like to be on the other side of this torture; having to deal with someone else’s rancid breath. I want everyone that comes in contact with me to have a pleasant experience and to not even have to think about this problem.

As a semi-aware human being who is conscious of most of my own faults and inadequacies, I strongly believe that it’s our job as humans to keep ourselves up and not let ourselves go, to do everything in our power to keep improving to become the best version of ourselves that we can be. I always have ammo with me, like a pack of gum or a thing of mints. Always, I carry it everywhere and never leave the house without it. Gum is one of the most essential and NECESSARY tools that I carry with me in my confidence utility belt. Yes, Batman has his crime fighting utility belt, but mine is far more important. The confidence building utility belt inspires courage and motivation for all people who carry it.

What ticks me off most is when people don’t realize or just don’t care that they have it, and they just keep talking endlessly. The problem is, I cant say anything without feeling like a jerk. People will think I’m a jerk for telling someone that their mouth smells like the inside of a septic tank, but why? Why can’t I speak up, why do I have to suffer because you’re lazy and don’t care about how you affect everyone around you.

Maybe I’m selfish, but I see it as help. I’m helping myself, and everyone that the walking septic tank will come into contact with for the rest of the day, right? I’m helping them, because I’m informing them that their breath smells like crap so that they fix it. If they just take my advice, no one else will have to suffer from communicating with them.

Unfortunately, there’s always going to be people that take serious offense to this because they feel embarrassed and claim that I’m insulting or harassing them. I don’t understand that mindset, if someone were to tell me I had bad breath, of course id feel embarrassed, but I think I’d try to find a solution for the problem instead of crying about it and blaming you for telling me. Maybe that’s just me.

Because people don’t know how to take any type of criticism (which is a problem in its own right), I have to tiptoe around the problem and find other ways to beat around the bush. Like suggesting we have a tooth brushing party, or insisting that I can fit more tic tac’s in my mouth trying to spark a competition between us. People are like landmines, you never know who will get triggered and blow a fuse if you say one negative thing; and it’s not that I’m afraid to say anything, my time on this Earth is just too precious that I can’t waste it on listening to some badger angrily exploding at me just because I’m trying to help.

When you can visibly see the stink lines coming out of someone’s mouth; stay away, run if you have to. Bad breath is an epidemic that’s slowly overtaking our society. People just don’t care if they have it, or don’t realize it at all. If you know that you tend to get bad breath and still you fail to combat or prevent it then you are part of the problem. People like you are the reason that I never leave my room.