3 Minutes in the life of a Lonely Teenage Boy

Sometimes I feel like my body is on autopilot And my brain is just along for the ride. Striding through the ups and downs of life Hiding from my fears Trying to bide time until the ride is over. I thought about my eventual death last night And an astonishing thought came to light. I don’t care where the road takes me I’ll have no such fear As long as the reaper is waiting for me at the start With an ice cold beer. Drinking myself into a poor skimpy stupor Seems like a pretty super idea to me right now. Thoughts like this bind my mind from time to time So that I may not find the truth behind the façade of a kind smile. People are like the trees Masks of leaves breathing lies into the night breeze. I show you what I want you to see But my roots are what matter most to me Hidden under lock and key Buried for no eyes to see. Underground, away from the harsh reality. For if my roots are unearthed I fear a new man will be birthed The darkness overcoming the light But I remember; There can be no day without the night No darkness without the light No peace without a fight And no wrong without right. For life is but a double edged sword One must learn to combat the trauma that we face. For if we fail to; Trauma leads to fear Fear begets anger Anger breeds hate And hate breeds suffering. Such is the fate of humanity Of who shall not unify until true calamity strikes. All these fake smiles surround me I ask what good are they for. Where men and women labeled our “leaders” preach good of thy neighbor Yet create weapons in order to surrender them. But we cannot say what’s truly in our heads For we are afraid you will spread our words of honesty until they sleep in opposite beds. We all live on the same rock So why not stop the constant flock of negativity Masked by a bloody mirage of positivity. Because who wants to live in a world Where two faced Is the new human race. The one constant happiness in my life is you Yet I fear that one day you Will fall to the struggles of reality too. Looking at you now I see a light at the end of the darkest tunnel Will the rest of the world change you? Will reality break you? Will you still sing your songs of love to me through the funnel of your heart? Or will you change like all the others. Are you really who you say you are Or has the world already sunk its cold, harsh teeth into your heart. A glimmering trophy as we speak But in a hundred weeks will you transform into another demon To smother me until there is no other way of escape Or even worse, transform into my mother? Grinding on my mind Until there is nothing left but remnants left behind by my blind Unrefined Colorblind self. So if the world were to end tomorrow What would you ask from god? From god I would ask no more Than a front row seat.